Sleeping during sermons

Lesson: Don't poke your husband's leg with a needle when he's asleep.

One day Angelina went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverand, I have a problem, my husband, Brad, keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?", she said.

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Brad is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Angelina sat beside his husband. As expected, Brad dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Angelina.

"Jesus!!!", Brad cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Brad," said the minister.

Soon, Brad nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Angelina.

"Oh God!!!" Brad cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin. "Right again, Mr. Brad" said the minister, smiling.

Before long, Brad again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Angelina mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Angelina poked her husband, who then yelled, "Please! You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time... and I'll break it in half... and shove it up your ass!!!".

"Amen....." replied the congregation.